It was a divine sermon.For it was like the peace of God which passeth all understanding . And like his mercy seemed to endure forever. Henry Hawkins
If God wanted us to be brave, why did he give us legs?
Marvin Kitman
If you die on an elevator , be sure and push the up button.
Sam Levensons
Read a true story about Muhammad Ali this morning. Ali was on a plane about to take off. The flight attendant
told the champ to put fasten his seatbelt. Ali replied," Superman don't need no seatbelt. " The attendant
said," Superman don't need no airplane."
I had a really rough day yesterday. It was Monday. I do not think I have ever heard anyone say , TGIM.
Maybe some poor soul did say it shortly before they perished. I have always found strength in numbers. It
gives me great comfort knowing that 7 out of 8 dwarfs are not happy.
GKG
I was walking down the street wearing glasses and my prescription ran out.
Steven Wright
What color is the wind?
Blew
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
I'll catch ya later.
Me and my recliner go way back. ; )
There is a gift that would be perfect for Father's day. His face
will light up every time he uses it. A fridge
I have had the idea of starting a new club of people who want to get together and play hide and seek.
It has been a little tougher than I thought because good players are really hard to find.(wink)
I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they did not
change was on page 87. Steve Martin
If at first you don't suceed, then skydiving isn't for you.
Steven Wright
How can you tell if a bloke is Irish or not by watching him laugh?
If he is from Ireland, he will be Dublin over.
My dad worked for Alcoa for over 30 years. Some of his best friends nds were Kentuckians. They all
traded jokes and made fun of each other. My dad would tell a joke making the Kentuckian out to be a idiot
and his buddies would do the same with Hoosier jokes. So I grew up with a steady diet of jokes that my dad brought home from work that usually were shared around the kitchen table.
Often after greeting patients , I ask where they are from. I then usually tell them a little about my background
and feel is a great ice breaker and a good way to start the exam. I have slipped a few times over the years to do this prior to telling a Kentuckian joke. A half hearted smile makes me think they have heard my funny before. Once in a while they slip in a comment later about 'down home' and I knew I blew it. It is all in fun mind you but I do wonder if someday they will make
outlaw humor as well. When they do, I'll be an outlaw.
The one I am about to share is one of my favorites . I have pooled a large group of people over the years who say this is new to them.
Q So what amazes a Kentuckian about a swimming pool?
A For the life of them they cannot understand how those little ropes keep the water from flowing down
to the shallow end!
I only know 25 letters. I don't know Y.
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale
A big hairy scary muscular man was giving an elderly man a hard time. The old guy warned the big man his son only lived 5 minutes away . He went on to say that if he called him , his son would come to his aid and would clean his clock in no time flat.
The giant said he was not afraid and told him to go ahead and call his son. The old guy warned him yet again and told him he would be sorry. His son is a dolphin trainer and trains dolphins every day. The big dude said he did not care what he did so please ask him to come right on over.
In 5 minutes an average size guy pulls up in an average car. He calmly walks up asks if this is the guy who has been picking on his dad and was told yes. He lit into him like there was no tomorrow! In two minutes the fight was over.The big man was flat on his back bleeding , dirty, and had a broken arm and was groaning and moaning in pain. As the boy was leading his dad back to the car, this is what the big fellow heard as they walked past him.
' Dad , for the the last time will you please quit telling people I am a dolphin trainer! I train Navy Seals for a living.'
Babies don't need vacations , but I still see them at the beach.
Steven Wright
There are times in life when people must learn when not to let go.
Baloons are designed to teach small children this. Terry Pratchett
Read a true story about Muhammad Ali this morning. Ali was on a plane about to take off. The flight attendant
told the champ to put fasten his seatbelt. Ali replied," Superman don't need no seatbelt. " The attendant
said," Superman don't need no airplane."
I had a really rough day yesterday. It was Monday. I do not think I have ever heard anyone say , TGIM.
Maybe some poor soul did say it shortly before they perished. I have always found strength in numbers. It
gives me great comfort knowing that 7 out of 8 dwarfs are not happy.
GKG
I was walking down the street wearing glasses and my prescription ran out.
Steven Wright
What color is the wind?
Blew
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
I'll catch ya later.
Me and my recliner go way back. ; )
There is a gift that would be perfect for Father's day. His face
will light up every time he uses it. A fridge
I have had the idea of starting a new club of people who want to get together and play hide and seek.
It has been a little tougher than I thought because good players are really hard to find.(wink)
I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they did not
change was on page 87. Steve Martin
If at first you don't suceed, then skydiving isn't for you.
Steven Wright
How can you tell if a bloke is Irish or not by watching him laugh?
If he is from Ireland, he will be Dublin over.
My dad worked for Alcoa for over 30 years. Some of his best friends nds were Kentuckians. They all
traded jokes and made fun of each other. My dad would tell a joke making the Kentuckian out to be a idiot
and his buddies would do the same with Hoosier jokes. So I grew up with a steady diet of jokes that my dad brought home from work that usually were shared around the kitchen table.
Often after greeting patients , I ask where they are from. I then usually tell them a little about my background
and feel is a great ice breaker and a good way to start the exam. I have slipped a few times over the years to do this prior to telling a Kentuckian joke. A half hearted smile makes me think they have heard my funny before. Once in a while they slip in a comment later about 'down home' and I knew I blew it. It is all in fun mind you but I do wonder if someday they will make
outlaw humor as well. When they do, I'll be an outlaw.
The one I am about to share is one of my favorites . I have pooled a large group of people over the years who say this is new to them.
Q So what amazes a Kentuckian about a swimming pool?
A For the life of them they cannot understand how those little ropes keep the water from flowing down
to the shallow end!
I only know 25 letters. I don't know Y.
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale
A big hairy scary muscular man was giving an elderly man a hard time. The old guy warned the big man his son only lived 5 minutes away . He went on to say that if he called him , his son would come to his aid and would clean his clock in no time flat.
The giant said he was not afraid and told him to go ahead and call his son. The old guy warned him yet again and told him he would be sorry. His son is a dolphin trainer and trains dolphins every day. The big dude said he did not care what he did so please ask him to come right on over.
In 5 minutes an average size guy pulls up in an average car. He calmly walks up asks if this is the guy who has been picking on his dad and was told yes. He lit into him like there was no tomorrow! In two minutes the fight was over.The big man was flat on his back bleeding , dirty, and had a broken arm and was groaning and moaning in pain. As the boy was leading his dad back to the car, this is what the big fellow heard as they walked past him.
' Dad , for the the last time will you please quit telling people I am a dolphin trainer! I train Navy Seals for a living.'
Babies don't need vacations , but I still see them at the beach.
Steven Wright
There are times in life when people must learn when not to let go.
Baloons are designed to teach small children this. Terry Pratchett
To understand what I am trying to do here, you should go read the blog story by the same name as the button you just clicked on. If you like to laugh, we just might click.
I love funny and humorous things and am a collector of this kind of stuff and love passing them on and along . Kids laugh, play , and act silly all the time. I read or made up the fact it takes a grown up a month to laugh does in one day. I feel that we are all too grown up for our own good!
Science has shown laughter is good for us and served as a pressure valve in a crazy stressed out world that seems to hurry us and worry us more each day.
I hope to share here from time to time things you might find funny or amusing. Once in awhile I might tell a funny and then break it down to expose a hidden truth. Many times we laugh hardest at those things closest to home.
My wife is always telling me to stop acting stupid. Truth is , I am not acting!
I think I can help...stay tuned.
HERE IS A FUNNY 1
I have been having some health issues and went to see my doctor. I told him I could not stop eating Thankgiving leftovers and told me I had to stop cold turkey!
Here is a trivia question:
Who is the most grateful actor in Hollywood? Answer T.hanks
OFF THE CHARTS
I was checking the eyes of a 7 year old little girl about 15 years ago. It was a week or so before Christmas.
I put up the chart on the wall which is half red and half green and has letters on both sides. I asked which side seemed clearer to her. She answered with a question or several actually. She said, 'Can I, can I, can I ask you a question?"
I replied, ' Sure honey." She wanted to know if I always used red and green, or was I doing that because it was almost Christmas.
I share this story with patients if I have the time. I think of this cute little gal and her question everytime I do this test. I have been in practice over 37 years .Many have asked me why I do this. She is the only one who asked me if there was a Christmas connection.
I have more dreams than Quaker has oats. I hope to someday record them in an uplifting book of things that happened down through the years. Many of them and perhaps most of them will be about children. How they color
our world with what they say and do. It seems God uses them to remind us of the pure and simple wisdom that is so refreshing and is often off the charts!
Guy catches a fish and decides to keep him . The little fish fish tells him if you let me go I will give you anything thing you ask for. The guy agrees and lets him go. The little fish swims a half circle and asks him what he wants. The guy says I want to be 10x smarter than I am now. The little fish turns him into a woman!
QUESTION? What would you ask for , right now?
As you come up our drive and after you cross the small creek,you pass between two field stone
pillars that match the stones on our home. There is a light atop both of them . Right now, one is green and the the side is white. The green light is to show support for all the people who serve our military as well
as those who have done so in the past.
At Christmas i hang white lights along the 4 rail horse fence. We change the white one to red and
The entryway is good to go. The placement of the red and green has a reason behind it as well.
It may seem to be be random but Iassure you is not the case.
On a plane the red light is always on the left side and the green is on the right side. green and right both
have 5 letters and this was how I was taught to remember as a boy. This applies to boats as well.
Our oldest son, Josh, is a navel aviator. He and his wonderful wife , Christina, are a week or two from going
to Japan. They have lived in several places over the last few years. They lived in Fallon Nevada
most recently and we were blessed to have all of our boys and their girls under our roof and together
the holidays.
Since they aproached our farm from the west the right light was green and the left one was on the left
came home. When they were out east in Va it was the reversed. Japan is on the other side of the world
so I am not sure what I will do. I have not stepped it off but am told it is about as far east to west as it is
west to east.
God is a concerned loving Father who loves you so much! He has made a way for you to come
home through his son Jesus. The porch light of heaven is on . You have a green light my friend.
Because of the red blood of Jesus ,your sins are forgiven . Your approach is cleared as well as all your sins.
As far as the east is from the west,so far has removed our transgressions from us.
Psalm 103:12
ENTRY
Yesterday I went out to check on the horses. It has again been vey hot here of late and a daily chore
to top off the water troughs will cool clear water.As I make my rounds the horses ususlly get excited when they hear the sound of our old red ATV. Because this vehicle usally has horse feeds as well as carrots, we c call it "Chuck" short for chuck wagon .
There is a mare and two young ones in the south pasture. I whistled and they did not come. I banged on the
red tubes on the gate with the scooper. It makes a sound that sounds like a hillbilly dinner bell. I had seen them the evening before and knew they were ok. I surmised they had found a place with a breeze and had it made in the shade.
I set the bright orange bucket filled with feed and carrots in front of the gate. This bucket was a physical reminder for me to "lets do this later". I had some mowing to do and that filled several hours of the afternoon. I kept looking down at the water tank seeing they had not yet drank from it and for the first time became a little concerned.
I went down to the gate and did the two tone whistle my dad taught me. I do this in honor of him and have taught my sons to do the same. They all would turn and prick up their earsand know it was me if I did this even in a crowd.
I banged again on the gate and in no time flat heard the three of them flat out running as hard as they could
go. They seemed happy to see me and even more to see Chuck .They were breathing heavy as they devoured their snacks.
My friend I believe God is calling all of us. As we read Scripture, we learn he calls us all differently . Many people tell me after I speak that I missed my calling. I would quite my practice and enroll in seminary school tomorrow if I felt in my heart that is what God wanted for me. I answered my "call to the see" many years ago. I love the interaction I have with patients for the most part. I never would have believed God would and could could use me to write these stories for his glory.
He has blended and used the very things I love and hold dear such as horses, hunting , and rivers . I am often very surprised at how stories and lessons come together in such a way that I know it is not me but him working through me. Here is the exciting part, he wants to do the same with you. You may not be called to write or do eyes but you are being called . What do you do that gives you joy and satisfaction? There is your best clue in regard to what God is calling you to do.
I pray that at times this website feeds you. I write for all God's people and not just those who gather under the steeple. All I know is when I do this with the hope of pleasing my Savior, it just feels so "write"!
Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things
you do not know. Jeremiah 33:3
When you empty yourself, God rushes in.
A.W. Tozer
For the man who prays in his heart ,the whole world is a church.
Sylvain of Athos