If at first you don't suceed, then skydiving isn't for you.

                                                                                                                    Steven Wright

                    How can you tell if a bloke is Irish or not by watching him laugh?

                    If he is from Ireland, he will be Dublin over.


        My dad worked for Alcoa for over 30 years. Some of his best friends nds were Kentuckians. They all 

traded jokes and made fun of each other. My dad would tell a joke making the Kentuckian out to be a idiot

 and his buddies would do the same with Hoosier jokes. So I grew up with a steady diet of jokes that my dad brought home from work that usually were shared around the kitchen table.

      Often after greeting patients , I ask where they are from. I then usually tell them  a little about my background

and feel is a great ice breaker and a good way to start the exam. I have slipped a few times over the years to do this prior to telling a Kentuckian joke. A half hearted  smile makes me think they have heard my funny before. Once in a while they slip in a comment later about 'down home' and I knew I blew it. It is all in fun mind you but I do wonder if someday they will make

outlaw humor as well. When they do, I'll be an outlaw.

    The one I am about to share is one of my favorites . I have pooled a large group of people over the years who say this is new to them. 

     Q So what amazes a Kentuckian about a swimming pool?

     A For the life of them they cannot understand how those little ropes keep the water from flowing down

      to the shallow end!

              I only know 25 letters. I don't know Y.

         What do you call it when Batman skips church?

                                                                                                 Christian Bale

               A big hairy scary muscular man was giving an elderly man a hard time. The old guy warned the big man his son only lived 5 minutes away . He went on to say that if he called him , his son would come to his aid and would clean his clock in no time flat. 

           The giant said he was not afraid and told him to go ahead  and call his son. The old guy warned him yet again and told him he would be sorry. His son is a dolphin trainer and trains dolphins every day. The big dude said he did not care what he did so please ask him to come right on  over.

           In 5 minutes an average size guy pulls up in an average car. He calmly walks up asks if this is the guy who has been picking on his dad and was told yes. He lit into him like there was no tomorrow! In two minutes the fight was over.The big man was flat on his back bleeding , dirty, and had a broken arm and was groaning and moaning in pain. As the boy was leading his dad back to the car, this is what the big fellow heard as they walked past him.

        '  Dad , for the the last time will you please quit telling people I am a dolphin trainer! I train Navy Seals for a living.'

                                        Babies don't need vacations , but I still see them at the beach.

                                                                                                                  Steven Wright

                                   There are times in life when people must learn when not to let go. 

                             Baloons are designed to teach small children this.        Terry Pratchett