drgregorygordon.com

       gatsummertree@aol.com

812-827-1520

If you these words helped your walk with Christ,

   and you were encouraged by them, I would 

love to hear from you. If you feel they would help someone who is hurting

it would be an even higher   honor to me if you would tell them about this this site.

I would love to respond back to all requests, but that is not possible. I will respond to all prayer request's and lift you or a loved one in need of prayer and talk to God about you. This I promise!


                                 


 

                                                                                 Why could the dog float?

                                                                  Because he was a good buoy



                                                              I read an interesting article about Ireland, it said the population

                                                  is Dublin every year.                              

                                                                                                                                Clover Leaf



                                                     The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.

                                                                                                                                                    Wilson Mizner

                                                                          


                                                                   Laughter is sunshine; it chases winter from the human face.

                                                                                                                                       Victor Hugo


                                             When Jesus comes back to make a new earth, the materials will be ready, the                                                     first world was also made of chaos.                                  Corrie Ten Boom



                                                 A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

                                                                                                                                                                Emo Philips


                                                               Anyone who believes the competitive spirit in America is dead has never been

                                                   in a supermarket when the cashier opens another checkout line.

                                                                                                                                                    Ann Landers


                                        Some people don't find mountains funny, but I find they are hill areas.

                                                                                                                                                     Dad Joke


                            We only use 10% of our brains. Imagine how much more we could accomplish if we

                       used the other 60%.                                                                                         Ellen Degeneres



                                                    I like staying in hotels. I like their tiny soap. I like to pretend it's regular sized 

                                          my muscles are huge.                                                           Jerry Seinfeld


                                                           Parenting without a sense of humor is like being an accountant who

                                               sucks at math.                                                                Amber Dusick


                                                 I married for love, but the obvious benefit of having someone around to find 

                                       my glasses cannot be ignored.                                   Cameron Esposito


                                                          We don't believe in mowing the lawn; we do it to avoid unnecessary

                                               engagement with the neighbors.                                        Miranda Judy  

                                                                     


                                     What do dogs do on their day off?  They can't lay around  - that's their job 

                                                                                                                                            George Carlin


                                       Polar bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink.

                                       Bear says I will have a gin .......10 second pause and tonic. The bartender asked

                                        him why the big pause. The bear says oh I have always had them.


                                                                           


                                                  What do you get when you cross an insomniac , an agnostic, and a dylexic?                                                                                                 Someone who stays up all night wondering or not there is a dog.


                                                  I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.

                                                                                                                                           Zach Galifiankis


                                                               Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

                                                                                                              Anthony G.Oettinger


                                                 We owe a lot to Thomas Edison-if it was not for him, we'd be watching television

                                       by candlelight.                                                                                                    Milton Berle


                                                         Computers are becoming more human like. When a computer crashes, the other

                                               computers slow down to see what happened.



                                                                               What is a janitor's favorite movie?

                                                                                                                                 MOP GUN


                                                       



                                                         There will be a rain dance Friday night weather permitting.

                                                                                                                              George Carlin


                                                                                         That money talks ,I will not deny

                                                                        I heard it once, it said''goodbye"

                                                                                                                    Richard Armour



           There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator and only a fraction of the people find this funny.


                          It was a divine sermon.For it was like the peace of God which passeth all understanding . And like his mercy                               seemed to endure forever.                                                             Henry Hawkins



                                                                          If God wanted us to be brave, why did he give us legs?

                                                                                                                                              Marvin Kitman


                                         If you die on an elevator , be sure and push the up button.

                                                                                                                                              Sam Levensons


                     Read a true story about Muhammad Ali this morning. Ali was on a plane about to take off. The flight attendant 

                 told the champ to put fasten his seatbelt. Ali replied," Superman don't need no seatbelt. " The attendant 

                 said," Superman don't need no airplane."


               I had a really rough day yesterday. It was Monday. I do not think I have ever heard anyone say , TGIM. 

            Maybe some poor soul did say it shortly before they perished. I have always found strength in numbers. It

            gives me great comfort knowing that 7 out of 8 dwarfs are not happy.

                                                                                                                                                     GKG


                    I was walking down the street wearing glasses and my prescription ran out.

                                                                                                                                                      Steven Wright


                     What color is the wind?

                                                                  Blew


                       What did the baseball glove say to the ball?

                                                                                                      I'll catch ya later.


                                                                         Me and my recliner go way back. ; ) 

                                                                                                                              GKG



                                              There is a gift that would be perfect for Father's day. His face 

                              will light up every time he uses it. A fridge



                  I have had the idea of starting a new club of people who want to get together and play hide and seek.

              It has been a little tougher than I thought because good players are really hard to find.(wink)




               I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they did not

            change was on page 87.                                                                                                    Steve Martin


          If at first you don't suceed, then skydiving isn't for you.

                                                                                                                    Steven Wright

                    How can you tell if a bloke is Irish or not by watching him laugh?

                    If he is from Ireland, he will be Dublin over.

           


        My dad worked for Alcoa for over 30 years. Some of his best friends nds were Kentuckians. They all 

traded jokes and made fun of each other. My dad would tell a joke making the Kentuckian out to be a idiot

 and his buddies would do the same with Hoosier jokes. So I grew up with a steady diet of jokes that my dad brought home from work that usually were shared around the kitchen table.


      Often after greeting patients , I ask where they are from. I then usually tell them  a little about my background

and feel is a great ice breaker and a good way to start the exam. I have slipped a few times over the years to do this prior to telling a Kentuckian joke. A half hearted  smile makes me think they have heard my funny before. Once in a while they slip in a comment later about 'down home' and I knew I blew it. It is all in fun mind you but I do wonder if someday they will make

outlaw humor as well. When they do, I'll be an outlaw.


    The one I am about to share is one of my favorites . I have pooled a large group of people over the years who say this is new to them. 



     Q So what amazes a Kentuckian about a swimming pool?

     A For the life of them they cannot understand how those little ropes keep the water from flowing down

      to the shallow end!

              I only know 25 letters. I don't know Y.

         What do you call it when Batman skips church?

                                                                                                 Christian Bale

               A big hairy scary muscular man was giving an elderly man a hard time. The old guy warned the big man his son only lived 5 minutes away . He went on to say that if he called him , his son would come to his aid and would clean his clock in no time flat. 

           The giant said he was not afraid and told him to go ahead  and call his son. The old guy warned him yet again and told him he would be sorry. His son is a dolphin trainer and trains dolphins every day. The big dude said he did not care what he did so please ask him to come right on  over.

           In 5 minutes an average size guy pulls up in an average car. He calmly walks up asks if this is the guy who has been picking on his dad and was told yes. He lit into him like there was no tomorrow! In two minutes the fight was over.The big man was flat on his back bleeding , dirty, and had a broken arm and was groaning and moaning in pain. As the boy was leading his dad back to the car, this is what the big fellow heard as they walked past him.

        '  Dad , for the the last time will you please quit telling people I am a dolphin trainer! I train Navy Seals for a living.'

                                        Babies don't need vacations , but I still see them at the beach.

                                                                                                                  Steven Wright

                                   There are times in life when people must learn when not to let go. 

                             Baloons are designed to teach small children this.        Terry Pratchett



                     Read a true story about Muhammad Ali this morning. Ali was on a plane about to take off. The flight attendant 

                 told the champ to put fasten his seatbelt. Ali replied," Superman don't need no seatbelt. " The attendant 

                 said," Superman don't need no airplane."


               I had a really rough day yesterday. It was Monday. I do not think I have ever heard anyone say , TGIM. 

            Maybe some poor soul did say it shortly before they perished. I have always found strength in numbers. It

            gives me great comfort knowing that 7 out of 8 dwarfs are not happy.

                                                                                                                                                     GKG


                    I was walking down the street wearing glasses and my prescription ran out.

                                                                                                                                                      Steven Wright


                     What color is the wind?

                                                                  Blew


                       What did the baseball glove say to the ball?

                                                                                                      I'll catch ya later.


                                                                         Me and my recliner go way back. ; ) 



                                              There is a gift that would be perfect for Father's day. His face 

                              will light up every time he uses it. A fridge



                  I have had the idea of starting a new club of people who want to get together and play hide and seek.

              It has been a little tougher than I thought because good players are really hard to find.(wink)




               I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they did not

            change was on page 87.                                                                                                    Steve Martin


          If at first you don't suceed, then skydiving isn't for you.

                                                                                                                    Steven Wright

                    How can you tell if a bloke is Irish or not by watching him laugh?

                    If he is from Ireland, he will be Dublin over.

           


        My dad worked for Alcoa for over 30 years. Some of his best friends nds were Kentuckians. They all 

traded jokes and made fun of each other. My dad would tell a joke making the Kentuckian out to be a idiot

 and his buddies would do the same with Hoosier jokes. So I grew up with a steady diet of jokes that my dad brought home from work that usually were shared around the kitchen table.


      Often after greeting patients , I ask where they are from. I then usually tell them  a little about my background

and feel is a great ice breaker and a good way to start the exam. I have slipped a few times over the years to do this prior to telling a Kentuckian joke. A half hearted  smile makes me think they have heard my funny before. Once in a while they slip in a comment later about 'down home' and I knew I blew it. It is all in fun mind you but I do wonder if someday they will make

outlaw humor as well. When they do, I'll be an outlaw.


    The one I am about to share is one of my favorites . I have pooled a large group of people over the years who say this is new to them. 



     Q So what amazes a Kentuckian about a swimming pool?

     A For the life of them they cannot understand how those little ropes keep the water from flowing down

      to the shallow end!

              I only know 25 letters. I don't know Y.

         What do you call it when Batman skips church?

                                                                                                 Christian Bale

               A big hairy scary muscular man was giving an elderly man a hard time. The old guy warned the big man his son only lived 5 minutes away . He went on to say that if he called him , his son would come to his aid and would clean his clock in no time flat. 

           The giant said he was not afraid and told him to go ahead  and call his son. The old guy warned him yet again and told him he would be sorry. His son is a dolphin trainer and trains dolphins every day. The big dude said he did not care what he did so please ask him to come right on  over.

           In 5 minutes an average size guy pulls up in an average car. He calmly walks up asks if this is the guy who has been picking on his dad and was told yes. He lit into him like there was no tomorrow! In two minutes the fight was over.The big man was flat on his back bleeding , dirty, and had a broken arm and was groaning and moaning in pain. As the boy was leading his dad back to the car, this is what the big fellow heard as they walked past him.

        '  Dad , for the the last time will you please quit telling people I am a dolphin trainer! I train Navy Seals for a living.'

                                        Babies don't need vacations , but I still see them at the beach.

                                                                                                                  Steven Wright

                                   There are times in life when people must learn when not to let go. 

                             Baloons are designed to teach small children this.        Terry Pratchett

   To understand what I am trying to do here, you should go read the blog story by the same name as the button you just clicked on. If you like to laugh, we just might click.


  I love funny and humorous things and am a collector of this kind of stuff and love passing them on and along . Kids laugh, play , and act silly all the time. I read or made up the fact it takes a grown up a month to laugh does in one day. I feel that we are all too grown up for our own good!


Science has shown laughter is good for us and served as a pressure valve in a crazy stressed out world that seems to hurry us and worry us more each day.

 

I hope to share here from time to time things you might find funny or amusing.  Once in awhile I might tell a funny and then break it down to expose a hidden truth. Many times we laugh hardest at those things closest to home.

 

My wife is always telling me to stop acting stupid. Truth is , I am not acting!


I  think I can help...stay tuned.

 HERE IS A FUNNY 1

 I have been having some health issues and went to see my doctor. I told him I could not stop eating Thankgiving leftovers and told me I had  to stop cold turkey!


Here is a trivia question:

Who is the most grateful actor in Hollywood? Answer   T.hanks

                         Guy catches a fish and decides to keep him . The little fish fish tells him if you let me go I will give you anything thing you ask for. The guy agrees and lets him go. The little fish swims a half circle and asks him what he wants. The guy says I want to be 10x smarter than I am now. The little fish turns him into a woman!


QUESTION?   What would you ask for , right now?


                                                                           OFF THE CHARTS  


   I  was checking the eyes of a  7 year old  little girl about 15 years ago. It was a week or so before Christmas.

I put up the chart on the wall which is half red and half green and has letters on both sides. I asked which side seemed clearer to her. She answered with a question or several actually. She said, 'Can I, can I, can I ask you a question?"

I replied, ' Sure honey." She wanted to know if I always used red and green, or was I doing that because it was almost Christmas.

  I share this story with patients if I have the time. I think of this cute little gal and her question everytime I do this test. I have been in practice over 37 years .Many have asked me why I do this. She is the only one who asked me if there was a Christmas connection.

  I have more dreams than Quaker has oats. I hope to someday  record them in an uplifting book of things that happened down through the years. Many of them  and perhaps most of them will be about children. How they color

our world  with what they say and do. It seems God uses them to remind us of the pure and simple wisdom that is so refreshing  and is often off the charts!

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